do you hear the happy mailman?

Who doesn't love the happy mailman? That is what Grady calls the ice cream man. I can see the resemblance of the mail truck and the ice cream truck but it still makes me laugh every time he says it. "Mommy can we get something from the happy mailman?" Sure! I knew I had the extra change laying around from the garage sale last weekend so I grabbed a handful and waited on the curb. Obviously the happy mailman is functioning one level under the mofia because his prices were outrageous! Guess he is trying to pay for his gas, his mortgage and his vacation home. Nothing was under $3.00 - yikes! He made sure to comment that he and Grady both had on Spiderman shirts - creepy if you ask me, but it made Grady smile none the less. He also made it a point to tell Grady that he would be back next week. That gives me plenty of time to plan a way to avoid that darn truck. It is also making me wish we didn't get Grady those darn ear tubes because now he can hear everything!

photo hunt

Who doesn't love a photo hunt about shoes?? This lassie LUVS her some shoes, these being one of my favorites. They were a present from my boys for my birthday last year and I wear them any chance I can get. With summer coming - hopefully sooner rather then later - I won't have the chance to wear them. So they will remain tucked away in my closet till fall. Oh how I will miss them!

fence sitting

Yep, here I am contemplating life on the fence. New information and circumstance have arisen in the Barley situation. Many 'experts' have been consulted but no one can give us a definitive answer. The final comment is always "It is your choice". WTF is that?? I don't want it to be MY choice, I don't want to have to make this decision. Hubby is not cooperating on this one and wants it to be a joint effort - since when is marriage a joint effort? At least not in these conditions. Damn his equality!! I totally feel like a verse from a Rolling Stones song:

I'm just sittin' on a fence
You can say I got no sense
Trying to make up my mind
Really is too horrifying
So I'm sittin on a fence

As many of you know, or those of you that don't now you will, I live in the world of black and white. I am not and have not been a fan of grey. I have strong opinions and don't often falter from my grounds. My Dad even made that comment at my wedding in his speech, shocking since I never thought he noticed. I must be more obvious then I thought! I should also mention that the proverbial 'Life' has been throwing me quite a few curve balls as of late and I am just not sure how to handle all of them. Have I also mentioned that I suck at baseball?? Here I am swinging away and still stuck on home plate. Can't someone throw me a soccer ball? Along with this decision comes my issues with perfection. I have been dealing ignoring my perfectionistic qualities for years. I am aware that decisions made in real time are never perfect. That is why I don't like to make ones that I am not sure of, ones that may have consequences that I am not ready or willing to handle. But I also know that I am not doing anybody my husband any favors by sitting on the fence because I think he is just as much of a fence sitter as I am in this situation.

I will do my best to keep you apprised of the situation. I will also try and post about some more uplifting and fun in the next few days. Rumor has it that I may meet my blogger buddy JCR in real life next week. Wonder what trouble we will find to get into......

struggling

Well, so far today SUCKS! I was just sitting down at work to enjoy my piping hot Starbucks when hubby calls. I assumed he was calling to tell me how much he luvs me and to apologize for being a bit snippy this morning, but that was hardly the case. I should have known by his tone. I should have known when he asked me to make sure I was sitting down. Then came the verbal blow - our dog Barley bit Drake's face. "What do you mean he bit Drake's face? Why?? He loves Drake?" "We are going to have to put him down....I'm sorry. I can't take that risk again." By now I am sobbing, heck I am crying as I type this! Guess I should give a little background as some of you may not know Barley. We have had him for seven years. He is the biggest, dorkiest dog known to mankind, or at least high up in the rankings. He is a good 130 pounds of gentleness and often confuses himself for a miniature lap dog instead of a Malamute. He is Grady's face cleaner extraordinaire.

But for some reason he bit Drake. Drake was playing with our neighbor while they were waiting for the bus, minding his own business, typical day in the hood. Barley was out on his chain, like he is every morning, enjoying the morning rays of sunshine and some fresh air. Drake was shooting baskets, missed and went to retrieve his ball. This scenario has happened countless times and with many different children. As Drake was turning to go back to the driveway Barley growled and then attacked his face. There was no instigation and no need for the dog to feel threatened - just Drake walking by. I guess his glasses took the brunt of the bite, though Barley did break skin on is cheek. There was blood, there were screams and there were tears. Hubby said it was the worst screaming he had ever heard, glad I missed that.

So that puts me in the dilemma that I am in right now. What if it was the neighbor or one of the kids' friends? What if he had gotten Drake's neck or eye? What if... what if... what if.... The possible shitty outcomes are endless. The possible reality is even shittier. So now I have to sit here and contemplate ending the life of one of our family members, the soft and snuggley one. The one who is my running companion and keeps my feet warm in the winter. The one who has grown up with Drake. The only one who doesn't talk back.

GAWD.THIS.SUCKS!!!!

movie monday madness

Ok, I typically don't do movie reviews on my blog, but I did watch an interesting movie that I just feel compelled to talk about. So let's think of it as less of a review and more as my view. I am a HUGE fan of Netflix. Love the idea - it was made for me - the person who never has enough initiative to return a movie if it is more then walking distance from my front door. Oh, the glory of it all!! So when I heard about this movie, I added it to my que, don't ask why, just compelled by some strange force of nature. I had heard a lot about the movie Teeth and felt a strong pull to rent it. Now, if you have heard anything about it, it is not a family friendly movie. The main character discovers that she has a toothed vagina. Yes, that is right, a toothed vagina or in Latin vagina dentata. Hmmm.... the possibilities, but I digress. In all seriousness, snort snort, it does intrigue me. Yes, that probably does classify me as weird, or as my husband called me last night "a perverse freak", for renting this movie but.... I guess the closest thing I can compare it to is my keen liking ofClockwork Orange. Weird, yet intriguing in the same breath. My favorite part of Teeth, without giving too much away, is when she uses her 'ability' on a boy, then stands with her hands on her hips as her special place spits out the pierced penis on the floor, only to be quickly consumed by the previous penis owner's dog. I laughed out loud, much to hubby's dismay. Now, I will also say that it is not on it's way to winning an Oscar or any other major motion picture award, but it did do well at the Sundance Film Festival.

It is definitely not a movie that I would watch again, but it did leave me thinking. What would I do if I had this mutation? Would I use it for good or evil? So that is my question ladies, would you use it for good or evil? Moo ah ha ha!!!

*** Addendum - Ok, I had a complete brain malfunction and remembered another reason I wanted to post about this movie. The movie is a sybolistic (yes, that is a word) dream. There are so many images and phrases with alternate meanings that I was having flashback's to my junior English class with Mrs. Van Meter. She rocked and was the symbolism and metaphor queen. I cannot, to this day, watch a movie without looking for the hidden meanings and images. Heck, I can't even look at a pickle jar without thinking about Ethan Frome and the red pickle dish. This movie even had some subtle not so subtle political undertones that even the untrained eyes of hubby picked up on. So there you have it, my first and probably only movie review. Aren't you glad that is done and over with??

lassie rantings

Jes, from ova here, came to keep me sane during my little hood garage sale. Her estrogen treasures evened out my male dominant finds, so it was a match made in heaven. We were pretty productive and got rid of some of our outgrown toys and such. But something happened that, for some reasons, shocks and really bothers me. I had someone steal clothes from my garage sale. Now, my boys are not macked out in designer duds and these clothes were marked to sell. Most were priced from 50 cents to a dollar - no high retail in my garage! But as I was reorganizing the table I noticed somethings missing, two outfits in particular. Now you are probably wondering how I noticed but as I put out the clothes I was having my little 'flashback to when Grady was small younger and fit in these cute little things moment'. Grady had three little Carter's polo romper type outfits that I always thought made him look extra cute and like a tiny man. They were some of my favorites and I had a hard time parting with them (lame I know). So when I noticed they were no longer on the table I was taken aback. Why would someone steal them? They were priced for a dollar and I would have easily been persuaded to mark them down even more if they would have asked. But they didn't, they just took them. Hubby tried to be the devil's advocate by saying if they had to steal them they obviously could not have afforded them to begin with. Which I understand, but really, you could have asked. Dude, I would have packed up all my clothes and given them to this person for free - If. They. Asked. It was a garage sale if they hadn't noticed. Just trying to get a little something something for all the crap treasures I cleaned out of my basement for three straight weekends. Yes, the lassie is bitter. Not what people who may be reading me for the first time want to hear I am sure - so for that I apologize. I will try and make lighter posts in the coming days I swear!!

So you don't think I am a crabby, selfish, ranting fool, I will mention that I know that I have been blessed in many ways. I do go out of my way to share and give back whenever possible, but it also erks me to no end when people are deceitful and sneaky. (oh, here is that negativity again - sorry!) I should also mention that most of the money from my sale is going to her because she is extra special to us and I can't wait for her to sail.

I will now jump off my angry soapbox and take my aggressions to the field. As I look outside I see dark and foreboding clouds laughing at me. Great! Cold, windy weather and possibly rain - just what this soccer lassie asked for....not!

i've been pimped!

Yes, it is true! The glorious (and extremely hawt) diva Dutch Bitch has honored lowly me with a corner of her blog. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! Though, as she says in her intro, there were stipulations. She roughed me up a bit and then so graciously gave this lassie a much needed face lift. After a few rounds in the ring she developed the beauty that you see here. SIGH. I so love it!! Now, if she could only work her wonders on my puffy morning eyes...

Be sure to head on over and check her out as well. Believe me - You. Will. Love. Her. Join her pimping posse and enjoy a good read while you are there! Blow here a kiss from me!!